


you look better without glasses

by washingmachineheart



Category: BoBoiBoy (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Awkward Flirting, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Character Death In Dream, Comfort, Dream Sequences, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Oops, Pining, Repressed Feelings, Slow Burn, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, fang is pretty emotional, just boys being awkward n crushing on each other, late night bonding, lots of crying??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24233458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/washingmachineheart/pseuds/washingmachineheart
Summary: Young love - tender, sweet and full of firsts. Something a lance corporal and a cadet might not necessarily be experts on. But they're trying.(Title is a work-in-progress.)
Relationships: BoBoiBoy/Fang, Boboiboy & Fang, BoiFang - Relationship, Fang & Boboiboy, Fang/Boboiboy
Comments: 37
Kudos: 53





	1. seeing things

**Author's Note:**

> i will propogate the boifang agenda until i die i think 
> 
> the inspiration from this fic came from a conversation with my [ my good friend lorie](https://twitter.com/cocoapollos) so u kno i just had to write it 
> 
> this is my first ongoing bf fic as well so fingers crossed i finish it!!!! happy reading pls tell me what u think here or on [my twitter!](https://twitter.com/leoriofeminism)

“Do you really need glasses?” 

Fang blinked, the seemingly innocent question asked by Boboiboy hanging in front of him like a dead carcass left in a forest. 

The simple answer was _yes, he did need these glasses because they were specially programmed with features that enabled him to access information and aid him in his missions._ Consequently; _no, he’d always worn glasses because he thought he looked quite good in them. He’d rarely ever felt good on the inside so the relief of him looking good on the outside comforted him._

_More importantly,_ he couldn’t help but wonder _, why are you asking?_

“Are you stupid?” He scoffed, pushing the metal frame back onto his nose properly. The pilots’ controls sat in front of him, and were a good source of fiddling to avoid looking at the cadet. “I’ve always had them. It’s a simple but effective disguise for the tech-mask.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Boboiboy said, a cheeky grin appearing on his face. “I know all about that. Just that I’ve never seen you without your glasses before.” 

“You haven’t?” Fang blinked, trying to recall if he had ever removed them in front of his friends. He was certain he had at some point - though that was also highly unlikely. Kaizo had equipped him with the glasses and entrusted the responsibility to him, and losing it elsewhere would have been detrimental. 

“No, I haven’t. I feel like I’ve never seen your eyes properly.” The cadet studied his face curiously, and Fang found that his personal space was suddenly being invaded. His large, brown eyes were suddenly in perfect view of his crimson ones, their faces centimetres in proximity. 

Fang felt his back increase in temperature, and pushed Boboiboy away. He flopped onto his seat from the impact, surprised. “Sheesh,” Fang muttered. “You ever heard of asking before you get so close like that?” 

“Sorry,” Boboiboy said, though his face told a different story. “I’m just curious! I feel like I’m missing out on something.” 

The lance corporal scoffed. “It’s none of your business. What does it matter what I look like?” 

His subordinate’s face suddenly switched to one of confusion, like the statement was something one worth questioning. “A lot to you, apparently!” 

Fang felt his face turn pink, dazed at what was happening to him. He didn’t understand why it was suddenly so important that Boboiboy had to see him without glasses, and that his insecurities were one worth noting. 

“Look.. it doesn’t matter. Just forget about it, okay? I look stupid without glasses on.” He sighed, and sunk into his pilot’s seat. There were other things to think about, like improving his piloting skills. It was tiring enough to have his older brother pressurise him for better results, than agonize over whether he looked good or not with glasses. 

“Alright.. I won’t bother you anymore. Sorry.” Boboiboy scoffed, in a state of mock-pouting. It was a thing now that he did with Fang, and it irritated him how that sometimes led to giving him what he wanted. From splitting half his doughnuts, or going easy on him during a practice spar. 

But this time it seemed he meant that he would keep his word, for his vision finally shifted to the one in front of him. The coordinates that Koko Ci had chosen for him didn’t exactly offer a stellar view, but it was alright. Seeing little colonies littered in the midst of space and witnessing life forms still functioning as per normal filled him with a weird feeling. On one hand it was nice to know that these communities were safe, and that TAPOPS’ efforts weren’t going futile. 

On the other hand, the prospect of normalcy almost made him jealous. 

“Aha!” Before he knew it he heard a triumphant yell, and the temples of his glasses being ripped off over his head. 

He blinked, and he realised he was looking out into the world without the blue filtering of the glasses provided for the first time in a _while._

The dark blanket that spread itself across the universe, adorned with stars and planets he probably didn’t know yet. It suddenly felt like he was given a new pair of eyes, the difference in wearing the glasses or not seemingly a huge margin. 

Fang turned to Boboiboy, who had his glasses resting on his lap. He looked surprised, the reveal causing his mouth to hang down a little. 

Almost amazed. 

“What,” Fang scoffed again, desperately wanting the way he was looking at him, making his stomach turn into some sort of mushy state to go away. “Are you happy now? I look like an idiot.” 

“No…” Was all the cadet could manage before he trailed off, at a loss for words. 

_“What?”_ Fang flipped the autopilot function, genuinely irritated this time. He was ready to cause a scene if he was going to keep acting like this. 

“It’s just- you have nice eyes.” 

This time he really blushed, not knowing how he was supposed to react to such a compliment. He’d been told plenty of praiseworthy things before. He was a good fighter, he displayed good leadership qualities, and was ahead of most adults that joined the force. 

_So why the hell was his stomach doing a double take? He just_ complimented _you._

Fang coughed awkwardly. “Well. Thank you.” 

“I mean it. They’re really...nice without your glasses hiding them all the time.” 

“O-okay. I know I’m handsome, you don’t have to remind me.” 

Boboiboy laughed, and the air of awkwardness that occupied their space seemed to disintegrate a little. He had his ways of doing that. Just by smiling, or offering just a little bit of his presence to the room – many times when hope was lost he would have been the only one still with the slightest fragment of a smile on his face.

He hated how much he knew that. And he hated how much he liked that smile, all the times he would sport his stupid thumbs-up of approval at the littlest of successes.

He _hated_ it.

His subordinate sank into his seat, his glasses still resting firmly on his lap. It was clear he wasn’t inclined in the slightest to give those back, one hand resting on them and the other on his chin. “You know,” he grinned mischievously, “you’d probably be a lot more popular if you wore your glasses less.” 

Fang scoffed, enunciating the _tch_ to roll off his tongue and ensuring he sounded as pissed off as possible. “I’m not listening to _you_ ,” he said, as he switched off auto-pilot for the vessel to revert to manual mode for him to manoeuvre. It’d have been a pointless training session if it was just going to move itself for the whole ride anyway. This wasn’t a date. 

_A date, huh…_

_What an unsolicited thought._

“Anyway, please give those back when we get back to the station. Kaizo will kill me if he sees me without it.” He grumbled, still both dazed and irritated by this entire training session. Perhaps he would have to learn to say no if anyone from the gang wanted to tag along next time. 

“Okay, geez. You know, you don’t have to be so..” Boboiboy trailed off, and sported his best face that depicted how deep in thought he was. 

“So what?” 

“I dunno. So angry all the time, I guess.” 

Fang sighed. “I’m not angry. Just don’t ask me to do that when I’m trying to fly a huge machine, maybe.” 

“I really meant it, by the way.” 

“What?” 

“You do look good without your glasses. I could honestly get used to actually seeing your eyes.” There it was again - the irritating smile, the one that screamed how earnest he was being. 

Fang grunted, and snatched his glasses up from his lap. Boboiboy didn’t resist, but allowed himself to be visibly defeated by the act of reclaiming his possessions. 

It was going to be a rather long ride back to base. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just another quick note i thought i'd slide in - the time frame of this fic is a little ambiguous, but definitely somewhere before season 1 ends. Just thought that might contextualize it a little. happy reading <3


	2. dreaming things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to write the late-night trope at some point yup

_Boboiboy knew immediately that something was wrong before he opened his eyes._

_For one he didn’t wake up in his dorm - he seemed to be on a planet he couldn’t recognise, barren and dusty. It seemed to be inhabitable, as the polluted air filled his lungs. He tried to breathe normally, but the air was so contaminated that he was beginning to feel like he would throw up if he breathed in anymore._

_A hand on his mouth and nose, and he makes a stride forward. His wrist felt lighter, and it dawned on him that his watch was missing._ You have nothing to defend yourself with, _he mutters through gritted teeth._ Shit. _There was no time to think about where it might have gone or who took it._

_Why was he here, and why was he all alone? He wondered, the anxiety welling up in his chest and pouring itself to the rest of his body. He rarely ever got scared. He never had a reason to be. He’d gone through war and back, but loneliness was his breaking point. It was stupid, but it always broke him in ways that he himself didn’t know could._

_It was an overwhelming feeling that could envelop him and swallow him whole. He had to find someone, or it would get to him first. He began to call out, in the hopes that any sort of life form would be able to hear him._

_He wades through the space, his vision getting more and more hazy with the unknown pollution that surrounded him. That was when he suddenly tripped, over what felt like metal._

_It was a man in armor, unconscious and unmoving. He inches closer, and turns the man’s head over to his direction to get a better look. Maybe he could help._

_Tentatively he cradled the man’s head, careful on his hands - and let out a bloodcurdling scream._

_His father._

<><><><><>

Boboiboy jolted awake, his eyes opening abruptly and his body sitting itself up instinctively. The air is cold, and it sends a chill down his spine.

Of course it’d be cold, he thinks, as an excruciating pain sears itself into his head. All dorms and rooms in TAPOPS were air-conditioned (a necessity and a privilege). “A nightmare,” he mutters, as he flops himself back onto his pillow now wide awak. Nightmares weren’t foreign to him, but often they were about stupid things - more so just the idea of even having Yaya’s cookies near his mouth. 

The reality was that it was 2:15 in the morning, and he was assured of that reality with Gopal snoring soundly in the top bunk. He didn’t think he would have ever been grateful for the sound of _that,_ but it was an honest confirmation that his dream was just a dream. 

All in his head. 

_Or was it?_

He sat up, and heaved a sigh. Boboiboy didn’t enjoy being such a restless sleeper, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get much peace of mind if he couldn’t find answers. It could have been a premonition, or something his brain was trying to tell him about the state of the galaxy. 

More importantly - he needed to know if his father was alive. 

<><><><><>

Fang wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of reading, but the library was a nice place to recuperate. 

For one, no one would think to come down there in the wee hours of the morning. While he made it abundantly clear to the rest of the team that he valued his sleep, and impressed how important it was to the rest of them - there were times where this would backfire. Some nights where he would lay awake, just staring at the metal rungs above his head that cradled a sleeping Sai. 

He rarely ever had nightmares. Or dreamt dreams that he could carry with him to the next day. It was like his mind was just an empty vessel, the memories he had of his past self existing in bits and pieces here and there. The present on the other hand absorbed him in waves of dissonance, his current state of being feeling meaningless if not for being a lance corporal. It was sad, but he never saw a need to do anything about it. 

He blinked, his own watch reading two-thirty. He knew if he spent more time awake he’d have a chance of being groggy the next day, but his eyes were open and his body was wide awake. It’d be pointless to try to go back to sleep even if he tried. 

Oh well, Fang thought. Perhaps going through old mission files could help pass the time. He didn’t have too long before dawn anyway. 

There was only one central database in the library that functioned like an advanced supercomputer. It sat in the middle of the room, holding all backup evidence of previous missions - digitized reports, video footages if any - dating back to TAPOPS’ early days. 

To his surprise, it had already been started up and running - with a certain someone with a white streak in his hair sitting right in front of it. 

“Boboiboy?” 

The cadet jerked in surprise at the mention of his name, but quickly regained his composure at the sight of Fang. “You scared me,” he whispered, a hand on his chest. 

“Sorry,” Fang muttered. “What are you doing? Why aren’t you asleep?” 

“Why aren’t _you_ asleep?” Boboiboy fired back defensively, like he had just insulted him. 

“Jeez, don’t get so worked up. I just couldn’t.” 

“Did you know I was coming here?” 

The sudden paranoia he was exhibiting was unusual, but Fang knew it was too early to pick a petty fight. “No, Boboiboy. I didn’t. Calm down, please.” He said, in the most even-tempered tone possible. 

This time Boboiboy didn’t retaliate, but his body relaxed at this response - like the weight of being watched had been lifted off his shoulders for the moment. He quickly turned his attention back to the database, swiping through the archives like pamphlets. 

“What are you looking for that’s so important?” Fang inquired, hoping that asking would ease his situation a little. 

“Nothing,” he muttered, still opening folders after folders. He seemed to be interested in files of veteran TAPOPS members, who were known for their commendable work and contributions to the station. 

“Do you even know how the archive system works,” Fang muttered in response, the desperation of his subordinate almost a little pathetic. He seemed to have little to no success in what he was trying to look for, all the names and faces completely alien to him. 

Eventually the boy sighed, and allowed himself to flop into his chair. “Okay, you win.” 

“You’re talking some sense for once.” 

Boboiboy grumbled. “Just help me, please.” 

“Alright, but you will be reminded of the fact that you are a sore loser who doesn’t know how to work a database.” Fang grinned mischievously. At long last he would finally have an excuse to lay in on him. 

“Okay, who are you looking for?” He bent down slightly, and found himself close to him again. 

“Is there… anyone named Amato in the system?” 

_Amato?_ The name rang a bell, but not one loud enough to jog Fang’s memory. “Let’s see..” 

He quickly switched over to the system’s search function, and typed it in. 

**_AMATO: No relevant names or past events found._ **

Was the computer’s response, the letters bold and glaring at the two amidst the empty screen space it was surrounded with.

Boboiboy closed his eyes, and heaved a heavy sigh that Fang rarely heard. It was the sigh that let out all the deadweight in your chest, when you have too much held in with too little words to express it. 

“Sorry,” Fang said, treading as lightly as possible. “Nut tells me the system’s highly advanced and updated regularly of both past and present events. If there’s no results chances are it never existed in the first place.” 

“Don’t apologise,” Boboiboy retorted, getting up and pushing the chair behind him. “I should have known.” 

“What is wrong with you?” Fang blurted, and the cadet seemed to have woken up from his weird state. 

“What? Nothing’s wrong-” 

“Shut up. You don’t have to be so goddamned happy all the time. You’re upset about something.”

The sudden outburst from his friend surprised Boboiboy, and for a moment they were both stunned. Because there was absolute truth to what Fang said, but sharing why he was so on edge suddenly felt embarrassing. 

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that.” Fang muttered, his hands curling into fists. 

“No, no. You have a point.” Boboiboy chuckled sadly, and looked at him gratefully. 

He settled himself down against a shelf of books, and motioned for Fang to sit next to him. The corporal complied. 

“I had a weird dream,” Boboiboy started, and exhaled. “I won’t tell you everything that happened, but in that dream…” he trailed off, as he fiddled with his hands nervously. 

“I found my dad. But he was dead. At least, I think he was.” Unconsciously he had brought his knees to his chest, and Fang realised he was slowly becoming smaller and smaller the more he tried to articulate his vulnerability. 

“So I thought - maybe he’s out there, somewhere. Or maybe not. If I could at least try to find out what or where he is, maybe…” He trailed off again, and there were genuine tears that were dripping on his cheeks. Fang exhaled, taking his explanation in. 

Tentatively, he placed an arm around Boboiboy’s shoulders, to which he responded by leaning into his chest - his hair nuzzling gently against his cheeks. It smelled vaguely of mint shampoo, what kind he couldn’t really tell. _A little too close for comfort, but if it was helping…_

“Hey, it was just a dream. And that’s all it’s going to be,” Fang said, softly. “I’m sure your dad’s out there, alive and safe.” 

“It’s just that I never know,” Boboiboy whispered, his voice caught in a chokehold by his tears. “Why doesn’t he ever tell me anything? It wouldn’t hurt to hear from him every now and then..” 

“I’m not sure, Boboiboy,” Fang muttered. “And it sucks that he doesn’t. But, Boboiboy.” He paused, unsure of the words he was about to say next. “I know your dad loves you.” 

“I know that, too,” He said, in between his sniffling. Fang had to admit that these retaliations were new to him. “I just wish things were different.” 

“You know - you and him have more in common than you realise.” Fang said, as he released his grip to take a good look at the cadet. His fringe brushed the tips of his eyes, and he pushed them away carefully. Boboiboy didn’t say anything but looked at him expectantly, eyes still watery. 

“What are the odds that both of you are both in space, saving lives and improving the world as we know it.” Fang sighed. He might not have a father to remember by, but he knew exactly what the distance between a family member felt like. 

Kaizo had always been so close, yet so far away. Always on a mission, undercover somewhere and kicking ass like the skilled captain he had trained his hardest to be. 

But when it came to Fang - he couldn’t remember the last time Kaizo really treated him like a brother. 

“Who knows,” Fang breathed, not wanting to involve his own personal feelings into the matter. “Maybe one day you’ll see him - and you’ll be working alongside him. Doing what you do best, together. You just have to wait for that.” 

Boboiboy smiled. It was a sad smile, but a grateful one. 

“Thank you,” he said, and that was enough. 

_I_ _t really was_. 

  
  
  


<><><><>

  
  


They walked back to their dorms in a silence, Fang’s arm still slung around Boboiboy. He didn’t ask for him to let go, and Fang saw no inclination to either. 

“I guess this is goodnight,” Boboiboy said as he motioned himself at the door, seemingly hesitant to move back into his room. 

“Yup,” Fang replied, not really knowing how to respond. All that talk earlier had suddenly dissipated, and replaced with a rather nervous feeling that he wasn’t familiar with. 

“Fang.” 

“Yeah?” 

All of a sudden he was enveloped in embrace, Boboiboy’s skinny arms gently clutching his back. Fang was only less than an inch taller than he was but his hair nestled nicely just underneath his chin, his face in the nape of his right shoulder. 

For a moment Fang just stood there, his heart racing out of his own chest. 

But he found his own arms tentatively wrapping itself around his waist, and hugging him back. 

Time seemed to go by a lot slower the longer they stayed that way, and he realised he had absolutely no desire to let him go. 

To Fang’s surprise it was Boboiboy that untangled himself from him first, the sadness of his smile fading away and replacing it with his usual one. The one Fang hated. 

Or at least, he thought he did. 

“By the way,” Boboiboy said as he entered the security code to access his dorm, “I still think you look better without your glasses.” 

Fang chuckled. “Still not listening to you, cadet.”

“You will someday!” Boboiboy exclaimed, disappearing into his room and into the night forever. 

  
  
Needless to say the two were able to get to sleep that night, dreamless - but in peace. 


	3. caring about things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> despite my fantasies of the Boys™ playing this it has been eons since i have played uno so the rules may be more or less inaccurate. please forgive me for i am old and uncultured. in turn accept more gay panicking fang and some good ol unintentional light flirting on both their dumbasses ends

For Fang, the general consensus of caring didn’t come easy. 

He knew he had loved - and had been loved. By the planet that sustained him and the family that gave him life. He remembered  _ care _ in waves where the sounds of familiar, soft voices would attempt to seduce him whenever his mind wandered. Shadows of faces that he seemed to remember, yet were distant to him all the same. 

Like it was an old friend he once had, the connection that they once had cut off abruptly by circumstances neither could control. 

“Fang. Your turn.” 

He heard his name, and he snapped back into reality. 

For some unknown reason he had accepted playing a game of cards with Gopal and Boboiboy, who were intent on getting him to see the fun of Earth board games. Despite the half a year or so he had spent there, the two boys had recoiled in horror once he admitted he knew nothing about them. 

He blinked, and stared at the card pile in front of him. Their place in the training arena suddenly felt microscopic, the table they had brought to play in the middle of the room like dust on a window. Then at the two boys - who were gripping their own decks in excitement, waiting for him to make a turn. 

“Um. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do next.” He admitted sheepishly, to which both of them easily slid off their chairs and flopped on the floor. 

“Is it really that hard?” Gopal whined. “I just explained the whole thing to you before we started.” 

“Okay, show us your deck.” Boboiboy offered. 

Fang’s brows furrowed. “Isn’t that cheating?” 

“Well, we’re just trying to explain it to you again now. We can start over once you actually get it,” he said, as he began collecting the cards back to sort them nicely. “Don’t worry,” Boboiboy chuckled, at the corporal’s bewildered face. “We won’t flip the switch on you.” 

“I would.” Gopal muttered in irritation, already looking bored at having to start over. 

_ Care….  _

_ For some reason, just the simple act of making sure he understood was making him feel things he didn’t understand.  _

Disgruntled, he placed the seven cards he had on the table. Two reds, a seven and one. Three yellows, 5, 2, 8. A blue card with two arrows, and a black card with a circle encasing the colors with an added green. 

“Do you know what all these mean?” Boboiboy asked, almost gently. 

“Didn’t I already  _ say? _ ” Gopal exclaimed, throwing his own deck onto the table. The gray space was suddenly messy with cards all over the place, and it was beginning to irritate him. 

“Gopal. Be patient. Fang’s taught you math before, we can teach him a card game.” Boboiboy winked at him, as if wordlessly apologising for Gopal’s short-temperedness. 

_ It wasn’t fair, how much this boy was capable of caring about everyone.  _

Fang breathed in, and out. He wasn’t going to waste getting angry if it meant he could learn something new to pass the time. 

“Gopal said you put cards of the same color or number on the deck?” He offered, hoping he didn’t sound stupid. 

“Yup,” Boboiboy affirmed, and he couldn’t help but notice how easily his face lit up when something was remotely pleasing to him. 

He’d been noticing a lot lately. The smile always came first, but a smile from Boboiboy was and would always be just an essential part of him. 

It was the way his face softened whenever he asked his friends - person, alien or robot - if they were okay. The way his voice never hid anything, the way the earnesty of his intentions dripped out of him like a leaky pipe. The way he was the complete opposite of him, so calm and level-headed. Despite the fact that he couldn’t understand a simple game of Uno, he was willing to start over till he got it just so everyone could have fun. 

Perhaps this was what care looked like. Just him, personified. 

_ Does it feel this weird too?  _ It was that same feeling he had when he had stolen his glasses, the way Boboiboy had looked at him eliciting something he could only describe as  _ so, so  _ **_nice_ ** . 

“Hey, you liked math while we were on Earth right?” Boboiboy suddenly asked, his face reading  _ I have an awesome idea and you’re going to be dazzled.  _ Fang nodded, unsure where he was going with the suggestion. Gopal already looked bored, and he almost felt bad about it. 

“So take the rules like a math question,” he proposed, as he suddenly swept up all the remaining cards on the table and reshuffled the deck. 

“Fang, look at me.” Suddenly he felt his chin being lifted by a delicate finger, and to the cadet’s line of sight. He hadn’t realised he’d been drowning so much in his thoughts that he took no notice that Boboiboy was standing next to him instead of sitting. 

“Everyone gets seven cards,” he said, and quickly placed a new set for him and Gopal. The remaining deck was placed in the middle of the table, suddenly feeling like it ruled the space it took up. 

“We’re going to have two decks.” Boboiboy then took a card off the reigning deck, and placed it beside it. “This is the draw pile,” he pointed to the deck full, “and this is the discard pile.” 

_ Seven cards. Two decks.  _ The registering of information was setting the stage in his head.

“And just as Gopal said - you can play any card that’s the same color, type or number that’s on the deck. If you don’t have any good cards on your turn, you have to draw one from the deck.” 

“Do I still get a go?” 

“Nope,” Gopal scoffed. “You draw one and your turn is lost.” 

Fang couldn’t help but  _ tch  _ at his remark. He was only grateful that Boboiboy's patience was keeping him from offering him a knuckle sandwich. 

“The round ends when one of us runs out of cards,” Boboiboy concluded, with his signature thumbs up like a cherry on top. He hated when he did that, the fact that he even had a signature pose to begin with. 

“Oh. And Fang. This is the most important part of the game.” He was suddenly standing right in front of him, a hand on the table like he was making an attempt to assert dominance. 

“What…?” It felt like pilot training all over again, personal space with Fang clearly something he needed to add to his dictionary. 

“You must,” he said sternly, “say ‘uno’ when you have one card left.” 

The atmosphere changed, and all of a sudden Fang was resisting the urge to laugh. If he was going to act stupid, he would have no choice but to play along. 

“Oh no. I  _ must?”  _ He stressed, and a cheeky smirk was already forming on his subordinate’s face. 

“Oh,  _ yes _ . You have to. The fate of TAPOPS and the universe depends on it.” He mimed invisible sunglasses and put his hands behind his back. The urge to really burst into laughter at the sight of him with a lame Koko Ci impression was so, so stupid. 

“ _ Ohhh.  _ And what’s gonna happen if I don’t?” This time it was Fang’s turn to mime, and a knife pierced through his chest in punishment. 

“Fang, don’t you get it?” He suddenly shouted, the jest dripping in his voice terribly. “If someone says ‘uno’ before you, you’re  _ finished!”  _

Despite the fact that he was in fact joking, the shouting bounced off the walls of the training arena. For a moment the three sat in silence, letting the interrupted air vibrations of his voice dissipate. 

Fang looked at Boboiboy, and Boboiboy looked at Fang. 

And in turn they both doubled over in laughter, the absurdity of what just took place settling in. 

“Jesus,” Fang said, in-between the peals of hysterics and trying to calm down. “You take things too seriously.” 

“ _Me?_ ” Boboiboy retorted, failing to recover from his own case. “Have you seen yourself on a mission?” 

Before Fang could fire back with his own insult, a certain someone cleared his throat. 

“ _ Dah.  _ Are you both done being idiots? Can we play now?” Gopal muttered. They’d been so distracted that they had completely forgotten about him. All of a sudden he was chewing on what looked like a large chocolate piece that resembled a mug. 

“Hey, isn’t that my mug?” Boboiboy asked, suddenly aware that his mug was missing. 

This time it was Gopal’s turn for a  _ tch.  _ “You took too long just to explain the rules. I got hungry.” 

The cadet scoffed, though he didn’t look that surprised by his act. “Not like you were doing anything to get him to understand.” 

Fang chuckled, the newfound understanding of the game satisfying him a little. Being kept in the dark was always a displeasure, and he was starting to feel lighter at the prospect of understanding Earth games. 

As Gopal handed the cards out (at his insistence), he realised this was one step to knowing the things Boboiboy liked. 

What he did in his free time. 

What kept him busy if he needed some relief off his mind. 

Not that it was that important. 

Not that he cared. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. wanting things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more dream sequences… self confrontation… me getting fed up with my own idea to write slow burn….. Aha 
> 
> also thank u - yes U - so much for reading i appreciate any kudos or comments you offer it genuinely makes me so so happy & appreciated :”) i really hope i am providing some joy with my writing!!

_ “You look better without glasses.” Boboiboy said, standing next to him. It was another piloting session, and he had abandoned the seat next to his and was leaning against Fang’s instead. Rather, he had his elbow digging into Fang’s shoulder and it was beginning to hurt just a little.  _

_ “And why exactly do you keep bringing that up?” Fang retorted, and took the glasses off for effect. He flashed one of his better smiles, as if to combat the opinion of what suited him best. “You need to stop telling me things I already know. It’s not that flattering.”  _

_ Boboiboy was silent, and Fang took this as a response to sit up. He looked at him, for some form of affirmation or proper response but there was only a hint of the usual smile that he paraded.  _

_ And then he leaned in.  _

_ Their lips found each other, and Fang found that he was melting.  _

_ Melting. Light brushes, like a dip into a lake before you could swim in it.  _

_ They broke away for a moment, and the boy finally grinned. Fang’s face felt like it was on fire: red, hot and smoking but he didn’t care. This time Fang leaned in, the desire for more taking up any rational headspace he had left.  _

_ Melting. It felt like they fit so nicely together, finally fixing what was missing this entire time he spent being alive.  _

_ Melting. As Fang’s lips found the rest of his face, and all he wanted to do was place them every inch he could find.  _

_ Melting,  _

_ Melting……  _

<><><><><>

His eyes opened, and the dream immediately began to drain itself away.  __

_ Fuck.  _

The lights were still on. It wasn’t even that late yet: Sai was probably still awake sitting by his desk, meaning it was only around eleven. And sure enough he was right, with the boy’s feet propped against the table. 

Fang sat up, and saw he had a thicker book with him this time - probably another English classic. Sai had a special interest in Earth literature, particularly the classics. The longer they worked together, the more odd little facts Fang would discover about his second-in-command.

He tossed his blanket off his body, and sighed. He rubbed the sides of his head, hoping whatever that happened in it was just a weird dream he could shake off.

But it wasn’t. He rarely ever dreamed, and now that he was - he was dreaming about  _ kissing his best friend.  _

It was getting worse. Whatever sickness that he was poisoned with, the weird feelings that were growing inside his chest and into his stomach - they were getting worse. 

_ Oh god,  _ he thought.  _ I can’t look him in the eye after this.  _

“Get it together,” he muttered. Fang gave both his cheeks a light slap, but recoiled in horror upon the discovery that they were still steaming warm. 

“You’re up?” Sai had turned around, the book he had been reading now placed nicely next to paperwork he had yet to finish. Fang was reminded of how ordinary Sai looked without the armour, just clad in a simple green t-shirt and cotton pants for bed. Almost soft, contradicting his field persona completely. 

“Yeah,” Fang replied. “Weird dream. Um, what are you reading?” _Nope. Not gonna_ _talk about it. Change the subject. Go back to sleep._

“Oh.” Sai picked up the book, and showed him the front cover. It was a hardback, and from the yellowed pages sticking out it struck him as vintage. “It’s _The_ _Picture Of Dorian Gray,_ by Oscar Wilde.” 

“What’s it about?” 

“Not much,” Sai said, in a matter-of-fact tone. “Laksmana gave it to me because he thought I’d like it. I don’t really understand a lot of it, but it’s about this portrait artist who I’m pretty sure falls in love with a rich dude.”

“Right.” Not what he was honestly expecting to hear, but the fact that he probably wouldn’t ever read the book tossed any further thoughts away. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, private?” His teammate raised an eyebrow, still skeptical about why he had jolted awake before late night even settled in. Sai knew Fang had his nights where he’d wander around the station instead of sleeping - but to be forcefully woken up was unusual. 

“I am,” he said, hoping the warmth of his cheek wasn’t showing through his skin. “Like I said… just a weird dream.” 

“You look a little… pale.” It was quite the opposite actually, but Sai couldn't put his finger on why Fang look so flustered. 

_ Pale?  _ “I promise I’m fine,” he let out a nervous laugh, and flopped back onto his bed. “I think I’m just stressed out.” 

“Right… well. Just try to get back to sleep if you want. I’ll keep reading for a while, if that’s fine.” 

“It’s always fine, Sai.” He pulled his blanket over his body, and turned to the side of his bed that faced the wall. Admittedly he was starting to get anxious, if the embarrassment of the dream was beginning to show. He couldn’t show it. Not to Sai, _especially_ not to Boboiboy. Not to anyone. 

He heard the light swivel of plastic wheelies, and the creak of the table as Sai settled his legs back up comfortably to start reading again. 

Fang exhaled, releasing every ounce of… whatever the hell just happened in the crevices of his mind. The image of him and his subordinate, having zero respect whatsoever to their personal space still lingered and he felt his cheeks burn up again. 

_ Let the darkness take you,  _ he thought.  _ Just go back to sleep.  _


	5. (wanting to) understand things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be part of the previous part but i thought it too long even by my own standards, so i broke them up. i am now a proud owner of a filler chapter

**_Fang_ **

_ u up?  _

**_Yaya_ **

_ Yes, Ying is too!  _

_ Are you alright?  _

**_Fang_ **

_ what are yall doing up lmao  _

**_Yaya_ **

_ Studying! Haha. We missed learning mathematical Earth concepts so we thought we’d work on some mock exam papers off the Internet.  _

**_Fang_ **

_ right…  _

**_Yaya_ **

_ Are you alright?  _

**_Fang_ **

_ no, not really. _

_ need advice.  _

_ don’t think i can sleep unless i can talk about it _

_ it’s kinda embarrassing tho haha  _

_ can i come to your dorm?  _

_ or we can meet somewhere else  _

**_Yaya_ **

_ Hmm.  _

_ You can come to the dorm  _

_ But just this once  _

_ We don’t feel like going anywhere else in the station.  _

**_Fang_ **

_ ok haha  _

**_Yaya_ **

_ dont get caught - Ying  _

**_Fang_ **

_ ye _


	6. talking about things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know if a sprinkle of the characters’ native colloquialisms is odd, especially in the sea of largely english text ksks. I just picture these dudes in my head talking the way they do despite that writing in english! And personally fang’s friendship with the Girls™ is severely underrated and we lack that in canon :^( 
> 
> [bernie sanders voice] i would once again like to thank yall for reading. i offer you fang being dumbass!!!!

The darkness did not, in fact, take him - exceeding no one’s expectations. Fang relented to this as he stood outside Yaya and Ying’s shared dorm. 

He couldn’t believe he was really going to ask the chaotic duo of a girl team for advice, but it seemed sensible. Despite their petty competitiveness - the two girls were truly a set that couldn’t be separated, and functioned really well together. 

Besides, an objective view from the most level-headed people in his friend group was ideal. Gopal would have either made fun of him, or gave advice that he knew he couldn’t take. He couldn’t live with what was going on in his head and needed a reality check. 

(And though Fang would never openly admit it - Yaya was probably the closest to a mother figure he would have in his short life. The maturity she possessed at her age was truly something he admired.)

_ I’m here,  _ he texted. He decided to proactively avoid knocking just in case any noise would bounce off the walls. They were already doing him a favor, and he refused to let them pay for it. 

The door opened slowly, the electric locks unbolting itself one by one. A little yellow hat with blue spectacles perched on top of it peeked out of it’s opening. “Come on in!” Ying whispered, the usual liveliness still residing in her voice despite the low volume. 

Despite the interior of their rooms being an exact replica of his, the effort to make it a home showed. Maybe it was the custom bed sheets that matched their favorite colors, or what looked like a fort made out of a white cloth and a wooden stick strewn with fairy lights. A large black bean bag rested in front of the window that offered the dorm’s inhabitants a view of the stars. 

In essence: their dorm just felt so comfortable. 

“You’ve been decorating,” he commented, the sight impressing him slightly. 

Yaya looked up from her desk, and smiled. “Of course!” she exclaimed, the glow of her face still alive despite the fact that he was crashing their night. “We have a nice room for sure, but it’s nice to have a little personal touch.” Ying winked, attesting to that statement. 

“Can I..?” Fang pointed to the bean bag, and the two nodded. He flopped on it lazily, letting the warmth of it take him completely.  _ I could get used to this.  _ Maybe he could ask Nut if he was able to outsource one for him.

“Alright. What did you want to talk to us about anyway?” Ying started, as she placed herself on Yaya’s bed. The latter nodded in response, a curious look on her face. He noticed that her headscarf was messier than usual, with what seemed like ebony bangs peeking out of the pink cloth. 

She must have had to put on her scarf just to entertain me, he realised and immediately felt guilt. 

“Well. I’m sorry you had to get ready just so I could talk to you, first of all.” He let himself sink into the beads, shutting his eyes.  _ God. I am so annoying.  _

“It’s fine,” Yaya tutted. “This style’s a no-brainer anyway. Don’t stress. Sit up. Tell us what you wanted to say!” Ying giggled, the duality of her friend being both kind and firm never failing to amuse her. 

He sat up, and placed his hands on his knees. “Well…” 

They looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. 

“What would you do if.. You felt differently about someone you thought you knew well?”

Ying stared at him, confused. “Feel differently? How different?” 

“Like… when you look at this person, they just make you  _ feel  _ things. I don’t know how to describe it, it’s so stupid. I’m sorry.” He was fumbling now, suddenly the prospect of actually having to ask what  _ all of this  _ meant became embarrassing. 

“And this is someone we all know?” Yaya inquired, an almost knowing look shining behind her brown eyes. 

“Well.. maybe.” 

Ying raised an eyebrow. “Who?” She propped herself on the edge of the gray bed frame, her arms a rest for her head. 

Fang gulped. “I can’t say.” 

She grunted. “Come on. You barged into our business in the middle of the night, we might as well know.” 

“He doesn’t have to say who it is if he’s not comfortable,” Yaya interjected, to which he was sorely grateful for. “So, Fang. What else about this person is suddenly different to you, anyway?” 

“I… well. I guess I think I care about this person, a lot. It’s a different kind of care, not in the way I care about our job or popularity. I never noticed how.. Kind they’ve always been. To everyone, and me.” He remembered the uno game, and the patience that was extended to him. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of how that game went. 

“I guess…. I just. I don’t know,” he blabbered, falling back into the bean bag and in the abyss of its comfort. He placed his gloved hands on his face, resisting the urge to slap himself silly.  _ This is so stupid.  _

“I get what you mean, Fang.” Yaya chuckled, as she allowed herself to fly over from her table to a space next to him. 

“You do?” 

“Yep.” 

“The answer’s pretty simple, actually.” 

“Really?” He looked at her by his side, and she was smiling. 

“You like whoever this is. It’s quite adorable. Who would have thought!” She giggled, and he felt his face catch fire again. 

“Like…?” The word lingered, trying to make sense of what it meant to him. “Of course I like them. I like everyone.” 

Ying sighed a heavy sigh, like he was the stupidest person she’d ever encountered. “ _ Haiya.  _ No, Fang... You  _ like  _ them.” 

“What…” He sat up, and saw the two were looking at him funny. “I don’t get it. Are you making fun of me?” 

“Oi,” Ying scoffed. “How else do you want us to put it? You have a crush on whoever you’re talking about. Plain and simple.” She straightened up, folding her arms into her chest. 

_ Crush.  _

**_Crush._ **

The word banged onto every side of his brain, hammering itself on every nerve. 

Yaya nodded enthusiastically. “And it does seem like you’ve liked them for some time now. Are you only now just getting that?” 

Fang could only remain silent, desperately trying to process everything that had just been revealed to him. His left brain and right brain raging an internal war, the pieces simultaneously fitting nicely yet making absolutely no sense. 

Because it explained everything. 

The way he hated his stupid smile and behaviours. 

The fact that they had hugged in the middle of the night lasted for days in his mind. 

The indescribable, nice,  _ nice  _ feeling he got when he was around. 

The stupid, stupid dream. 

_ Oh my god,  _ he thought. It was all crash landing onto him now.  _ I am in love with Boboiboy. I am in love with someone who regards me as his best friend. I am in love with - _

“TAPOPS to Fang. Are you still in there?” He blinked, and all of a sudden Ying’s thin fingers were poking the side of his head. He felt his head tilt a little to the side, and instinctively pushed her away. 

“Yup, still there.” She muttered, and he blushed furiously. Yaya let out a confident laugh this time, and he hung his head in embarrassment. 

“I.. I don’t know what to do,” he whispered, feeling terribly small. All his life had been about strategy, logic, surviving _.  _ What was a corporal to do at the prospect of falling in love - let alone with someone he had to work with - for as long as power spheres existed, and needed protection from criminals and other dangerous figures? 

This realisation could not have arrived at a worse stage in his life. He couldn’t tolerate it. He just  _ couldn’t.  _

Not if that would mean jeopardising everything Boboiboy and him had cultivated since they were kids. They had progressed miles from provoking petty fights to working seamlessly together. And if Tarung and Koko Ci found out? What would happen then? Was he being unprofessional? 

What in the world was  _ happening? _

“Breathe, Fang.” Yaya said, gently. “Don’t blow up just yet.” 

He inhaled, and exhaled. 

_ Breathe.  _

“If you want to know what I think, I think you should tell them how you feel.” Yaya offered, and he detected not a hint of an ulterior motive in that statement. 

“And why would I do that,” was what came out of his mouth instead. He hadn’t meant for it to sound defensive, but it slipped out. “Ruin a perfectly solid friendship is what you’re suggesting?” 

“Don’t talk to Yaya like that,” Ying scolded, snapping him back to his senses. “And what she means is: getting it off your chest to that person might help you.” 

_ “How?”  _

“It sounds absurd, but you never really go wrong with honesty,” Yaya said, wistfully. “You sound like you’ve been holding this inside for how long? How much more can you carry inside before you eventually tip over?” 

She had a point. These feelings were simultaneously old and new - perhaps they had always been there, without him realising. He had just never found the time to understand them until now. Maybe the whole reason why they were so overwhelming was the fact that everything was pent up, and ready to leave the station. 

“You might get rejected,” Yaya asserted. “And that’s normal. It’ll hurt, it might get a little difficult with that person - but I think you’d breathe a little easier knowing you took a chance instead of letting it pass you by.” 

Ying nodded, her expression replaced with a mixture of agreeable and sympathetic. “And you’re brave, Fang!” She quipped, winking at him. “If you can go off and do missions and kick pirate alien butt, you can do anything.” 

“Well, if you put it that way..” he grinned mischievously, the sudden praise from a usually sarcastic Ying entertaining him. 

She walked over to her own bed, and tossed a pillow onto his face. “Don’t be a dumbass, or we’ll never listen to you again. I’ll pretend you’re invisible.” 

“Okay, okay. Sorry,” Fang chuckled, to which Yaya beamed. He was calming down, and was obviously feeling more like himself after talking about his worries. 

“You know what’s best for yourself, Fang. You’ll figure it out!” The pink-clad girl said, and he sighed. 

“Maybe,” he replied, simply at a loss for anything else to say after talking so much. 

It was now official. Fang was openly, hopelessly and terribly in love with his subordinate. And he would have to think about what he wanted to do with these feelings. 


	7. letting loose of things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tl;dr fang is kaizophobic 
> 
> also u thought fang was the only dumbass? Nope. 
> 
> tysm for ur patience n for reading thus far <3

Fang had left the girls’ dorm feeling a little lighter. The days that followed after became surprisingly easier - perhaps it was the fact that those feelings weren’t as confusing anymore. It had a name, and a possible solution… even if he wasn’t brave enough to do that just yet. 

It didn’t take away the elephant in the room, looming over his shoulder as he took a lone stroll within the station halls after lunch. Everything still felt almost laughable - all this time he was stupidly in love with his friend. 

Not that he wanted to be. It just sort of _happened,_ and he cringed at the thought. This wasn’t a movie, where love was fluffy and direct. Love never came easy for him, and there was a fat chance it would be the same with Boboiboy. 

Fang was now itching for something to do, anything that didn’t involve him being alone with his thoughts. 

Soon, he had made a turnaround: he stood by the door of the training arena, the large and empty space barren. 

_ Well.  _ He wouldn’t suppose a spontaneous session would hurt. 

The lights flickered on automatically as he entered, the parallel-arranged units illuminating the vastness of the space. Now he had to make a choice: what to spar, and who to spar with. 

He didn’t have a person per se... but he did have his powers. 

“Shadow tiger,” he said, as he raised his hands into the light for its shape to form. Sure enough his trusty animal ally jumped out of the dark abyss he was capable of creating, greeting him with a glimmer of joy in its bright red eyes. 

“Woah! How much did you miss me?” Fang chuckled, as it pounced on him - peppering him with licks and affectionate nuzzles, as if it were a little cat instead of a life-sized tiger. 

It had been a week since he had honestly utilized his powers - Koko Ci had been sending Sai and Shielda out for fieldwork more. The commander wanted the earthlings to understand the importance of keeping sharp on their own accord, with Fang around as their precedent. He spent day hours piloting or using weapons instead of powers - he was aware Kaizo’s skills branched out beyond his own special abilities, and made it a point to emulate that. All he wanted for as long as he could remember was to be on par with him. 

But that desire wasn’t coming true - not yet, at least. This weighed on him as he watched his tiger run around the arena playfully, almost motioning for him to join the fun. 

Right now, the most he could do was stay out of his brother’s way. That was what he did best, anyway. 

_ God,  _ he thought as he conjured a shadow mouse to life for his tiger to chase around.  _ Kaizo’s so fucking boring.  _

Why  _ was  _ it a crime to have some fun anyway? He mused, snapping his fingers for the mouse to disappear. The tiger halted its chase in surprise, scanning the room for the tiny creature. Sure, he wasn’t as good as his brother - but at least he could have a laugh when the time rolled around. 

His thoughts drifted to his Earth infiltration mission - being alone in the first six months, not knowing how to properly approach the other kids that surrounded him. The attention he got from being quiet and mysterious was of course validating, but… it hadn’t been fun. 

Nothing had been fun till Boboiboy made his debut back. 

Even if we did fight the first time I properly got a chance to corner him, he remembered.  _ What a jackass. _

“Alright boy,” he decided, as he made a run for the hand weapons compartment. Fang emptied out as many of them as he could - from simple metal meelees, to what looked like sabers, swords and guns packed with the latest technological advancements. The tiger’s whiskers perked up, sensing his intentions. 

“Let’s have some fun.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


<><><><><>

  
  
  
  
  


Sleeping got a lot harder after the dream. 

In the nights that followed, all Boboiboy saw as soon as he closed his eyes was the man with his own white streak in his hair - unmoving and unconscious. Even if it wasn’t real, the sight followed him around like a ghost filled with unresolve. Often he fell asleep later than he usually would, woken up by Tarung with dark circles under his eyes. It wasn’t flattering, but he couldn’t exactly find a remedy for the nightmare. 

It was the middle of the day, but Yaya had persuaded him to try get some rest at the sight of him. He could only stare at the skeleton that made up Gopal’s bunk, blinking every once in a while. 

At first he let himself stare at the clock that sat atop their shared desk, letting the hours pass him by. 

2:30

3:30. 

4:30. 

By the time 5:30 rolled around he sat up, ultimately deciding that sleep would once again be out of the question. There was no point in wasting hours doing nothing. Restlessness was beginning to creep in with the unproductivity of staring. 

_ The library?  _ But there was nothing to search for. His father wasn’t in their records, and he had no research about any missions at the moment. 

He suddenly remembered Fang, and how he had helped him that night. They rarely ever got chances to be that earnest with each other.. And he had allowed himself to be vulnerable in a moment of weakness. 

Boboiboy wondered if it was a mistake - he hadn’t even shared what he felt about his father to Gopal or the girls, and they had known him longer. 

_ But then again… it wasn’t as if Fang took advantage of me,  _ he considered. The lance corporal had listened, and he had tried his best to offer whatever he could through his words of reassurance. 

_ And it had been enough.  _

Boboiboy remembered their embrace, and looked at his palms. They had clutched onto Fang’s back for comfort, and he had returned the favor by hugging him back. Even if he hesitated. 

He smiled at the memory, cherishing the thought. Fang grew a lot more sincere as they grew older, and it felt like he was the only one in his friend group who understood him on a more intimate level. It was comfortable just being around him, like everything about what they had was just so much more  _ natural.  _

Besides… Fang was really pretty, and he wouldn’t lie about that.  _ He’s nice just to look at sometimes.  _

Boboiboy sighed, and got onto his feet. 

_ Time to find something to do.  _ Perhaps training would do him some good. Admittedly the more they stayed in the station, he felt he was slacking without being out in the field. Maybe he just needed to fire up his batteries to get him to his normal self again. 

He only hoped there wouldn’t be anyone in the training arena to disrupt that. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. revealing things (i)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> initially i wanted to wait abit till i posted this chapter, but raising awareness is important regardless of platform. george floyd, a black man was murdered at the hands of anti blackness and the police. if you have a voice, share the petitions that will go directly to the charge of his murderers. donate to the black lives matter movement, any amount helps. spread the word, and also consider helping his family fund. anti blackness is a form of extreme violence and it is truly upsetting that black people have to be subjected to this daily. 
> 
> links to petitions and funds are in this website i've set up for your convenience: https://linktr.ee/sunsalutaticn. 
> 
> all lives don't matter until black lives matter. help in any way that you can. we cannot be safe or free until everyone is free. the system does not exist to protect.

Fang fell backwards onto the floor as his tiger sprung onto him happily, dropping the blaster by his side. 

“Okay!” He laughed, as it showered him with enthusiastic affection, the prospect of having fun seemed to have struck a chord he didn’t know existed in his shadow beings. It licked his face sloppily, the euphoria causing it to switch animal families. 

He knew his powers functioned to assist him in battle, but actually bonding with the animals seemed to be able to elicit a different level of trust. 

Fang already had a sort of closer relationship with his tiger, having used him in battle the most. The spontaneous choice to  _ play  _ with it instead of training it to the bone proved to be a good idea, as he noticed how receptive his animal was to their activities. They had played an amateur game of fetch, which helped the feline with being able to identify targets at a longer distance. 

More importantly - Kaizo was wrong. Having fun was  _ okay.  _ It was  _ great,  _ as a matter of fact. Loosening the screws in ways that helped him was therapeutic. He would be able to work better once this training period was over, if he could release all the tension in his body and clear his head. 

He scratched it’s ears, to which the tiger purred. “Good kitty,” he said, as it responded to more of his scratches moving to its head. “Did you have fun?” 

All of a sudden the tiger’s head bolted upright, and it turned to its side. It mewled plaintively and he followed suit, wondering what brought out that sudden reaction. 

A boy in a too-familiar orange cap stood by the entrance, simply staring at the sight of him. 

This time Fang sat upright.  _ Shit.  _

“Hi!” Boboiboy greeted, as oblivious as ever. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing,” he said defensively, as he pushed the feline off his body. He clapped, and it disappeared back into his watch forever. 

The arena was in a bit of a mess. ‘Fetch’ had the weapons strewn all over the room, and he’d have to return them to the compartment before Tarung would see it. 

“It looked like you were having fun,” Boboiboy said, as he extended a hand to him.  _ God.  _ He desperately did not want to have anything to do with the cadet at the moment, but as usual he was making it so difficult. 

Fang accepted his hand, and hoisted himself up. “Yeah.” Was all he could manage, mentally cursing his stomach for already turning in and out of itself. 

Boboiboy suddenly bent over. “Hey.” 

“What?” 

“Your glasses.” They were suddenly in his hand, and he was only realising they weren’t on his face. They must have slipped off when the tiger was all over him. 

“Thank you,” he responded, and wiped the lenses with the ends of his shirt. He quickly placed them back where they were supposed to be, the bridge of his nose feeling less exposed as soon as they were back on. 

“I didn’t you could  _ play  _ with the animals that you summon,” Boboiboy beamed, what looked like sparkles on his face peppered on his expression. 

“I didn’t know either!” Fang exclaimed, the enthusiasm of the time spent playing surging back. “All this time Kaizo’s been making me work my powers…” He trailed off, the thought of his brother irking him a little.  _ Who cared about what Kaizo thought? _

“You okay?” the cadet asked, snapping him back to his senses. “Yeah,” Fang muttered. “Sorry. I got distracted.” 

“Anyway - You couldn’t sleep again?” Fang asked, remembering Yaya had done her level best to make him rest earlier in the day. 

“Clearly,” he chuckled. “Honestly, ever since I had that dream my body clock just refuses sleep now.” Now that he was mentioning it, there was evidence of dark circles under the boy’s eyes. 

“Oh. I’m… sorry to hear that.” He really wanted to beat himself up if he could. Having a crush instantaneously meant losing all of his bravado. 

“Nah,” was all Boboiboy had to say about that, apparently. “I think I just need time to help me forget about it. It’s just not on my side right now.”

“Right…” 

A silence hung in between the two, neither not knowing what to say.

_ How much more can you carry inside before you eventually tip over?  _ Yaya’s words rang into his head like a siren, as the other boy began to scan the room for what he could do to train. 

It seemed a little sudden, but was there ever going to be a right time…? 

“Boboiboy,” he breathed. The moments in time seemed to move slower and slower as the cadet turned around to face him, and he looked at him with an uncertain look on his face. 

“I need,” Fang choked, “to tell you something.” 

The uncertainty amplified, but it wasn’t harsh. Just pure, unadulterated curiosity. “What is it, Fang? You can tell me anything.” 

_ You might get rejected. It’ll hurt, it might get a little difficult with that person - but I think you’d breathe a little easier knowing you took a chance instead of letting it pass you by. _

He inhaled, and decided he would take that chance. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

  
  
  



	9. revealing things (ii)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daily updates?? who tf knows at this point honestly i just want to share these so badly with yall LMAO

_ “I think I’m in love with you.”  _

For once, the usually chatty cadet had nothing to say. The same uncertain face remained as Fang allowed the oxygen out of his lungs to say those words, a silence the corporal could feel he could slice with a knife. 

A really, really thick knife. 

“You… what?” Boboiboy finally spoke, what looked like red forming on his cheeks, spreading all the way to his nose and ears. He didn’t look particularly distressed, but tethering on embarrassment. 

_ Oh my god. I’m humiliating him.  _

“I’m sorry. That was stupid. I just-  _ fuck. _ ” Fang began babbling again, the same way he had tried to articulate his thoughts to Yaya and Ying. He didn’t know if he had embarrassed Boboiboy, or if he was embarrassing  _ himself.  _ The tips of his fingers that his gloves exposed were beginning to rise in temperature, and he knew he had to do something. 

“Sorry. I have to go now.” He muttered, in an attempted nonchalant tone. Before he knew it he was bolting out of the room, his entire body feeling like it had been lit by a match. 

“Wait- Fang!” The cadet called out, but in certain situations the gap in their field experience showed. Fang was a lot faster on his feet than Boboiboy was even without his powers, and soon enough he had fled the training arena - running to god knows where. The station flooded his vision in a blur, both in his speed and the tears that were beginning to fill the brim of his eyes. 

All he knew was that he did a stupid thing, and he didn’t want to face the person that bore his mistake. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


*******

He didn’t know how long he stayed hiding in between the large washing machines that provided TAPOPS’ an airtight cover. All he knew was that he had spent that time crying, crying more than he had ever cried in his limited time being alive. His glasses sat by his shoes, alone and inert. 

Fang honestly couldn’t remember the last time he cried - childhood memories had too many gaps for him to connect the dots of even the sadder days. Life started somewhere during middle school, where Kaizo had made him begin training for life as a soldier ahead. 

Even in his worst times back then - where the actual pain his body still retained from training, sparring, and enduring verbal abuse from both his brother and the adults that he was under. Never once did Fang break down and shed tears, simply because there wasn’t the time for it. 

All he knew was that if he wanted to be strong, he had to keep moving. 

But now, he was beginning to realise that it wasn’t the case at all. 

He was not strong, not in the slightest. 

Fang was sure his heart was  _ literally _ aching, a sharp pain searing in the left side of his chest. He was despising the way the emotions somehow waded their way into his physical body, wanting so badly to lie down. Not only was he weak, he was also stupid enough not to think of running back to his dorm. 

_ Could have at least cried under the covers or something, _ he thought. Though Sai could have entered at any time, so perhaps a breakdown by the washing machines wasn’t that at all bad. He could thank his lucky stars for running to a more public area where the high-profile TAPOPS staff didn’t always go. Besides, the whirring of the mechanisms drowned the ugly sounds of his sobbing a little. 

He wiped his face with his hands, realising all the snot and tears had contaminated his gloves.  _ Yuck.  _ He slipped them off, resenting how painful and disgusting it was to cry. His palms felt naked without the gloves - though that was on him for having them on all the time. 

His power watch suddenly beeped loudly, indicating a call. 

A hologram of Yaya appeared, floating above the screen that secured his ability. 

“Hey Fang! We weren’t sure if you got the memo, but Koko Ci just wants to brief us soon on next week’s agenda.” Typical Yaya, always getting right down to business.

He tried his best to muster a smile. “Yup. Thanks, Yaya.” 

The girl in pink looked at him quizzically. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You sound a little sick,” she commented.  _ Sheesh.  _ Why she had to be so quick on things he would never know. 

“I’m fine,” he cleared his throat, hoping his voice sounded less nasally. “Just.. under the weather, I guess.” 

She raised an eyebrow, but didn’t provide a remark for that excuse. “Be in the cockpit by 9. It’ll be a late meeting because he’s letting us eat dinner first.” 

“Okay.” 

“See you there, Fang.” 

“Right.” 

He let out an exhale, slumped against the machine and sighed. His reflection stared at him off the large window that offered a view of the galaxy outside of them, and cringed. 

_ Stupid.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. revealing things (iii)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its around 8pm here, hence laksmana’s behaviour. ifykyk
> 
> here's your reminder to please keep talking about the black lives matter movement, please keep signing petitions and please keep donating whatever you can. links can be found here for your convenience: https://linktr.ee/sunsalutaticn. email the authorities for the murderers of george floyd to be fired and given their due punishment. 
> 
> also be aware of the #JusticeTerrorBill and #StandWithHk. both countries are at risk of having their freedom taken away and spreading awareness by retweeting or sharing any relevant information helps. this is not democracy. this is injustice. this is inhumane. please use your voices. please stand with the people.

Fang felt a little better after a few (eight) red carrot doughnuts in his stomach, though the pain from the sadness and/or embarrassment from confessing still lingered. 

He noticed Boboiboy and Gopal had chosen a different table to be by themselves, leaving him with the girls and Laksmana. He couldn’t help but feel a little sad about it, though he couldn’t say he blamed them. 

“Why aren’t the six of you eating here today?” Laksmana asked, immediately catching on that the friend group had separated. Ying shrugged in response, taking a bite out of her bento. It was annoying that she had probably caught on, but was refusing a chance to embarrass him. Somehow that was worse. 

“Maybe the boys just have something to talk about. You know how those two are,” Yaya said, as a matter-of-factly. She bit into a spoonful of her own food enthusiastically, what looked like coconut rice drowning in a pink box.  _ Must be missing home,  _ the corporal thought wistfully. 

“Are you sure you’re not fighting?” Laksmana joked, though the comment made the blood rush into his face.  _ I wish we were,  _ he wanted to scream.  _ We’re just being really awkward because I’ve just confessed my very unplatonic feelings for my best friend.  _

“No, not fighting,” the words forcing itself out of his airway. He might as well have choked on his own throat. 

The admiral raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure, Private Fang?” 

“Affirmative, Laksmana.” Ying was already smirking, like she knew something he didn’t. 

“Alright then, so I don’t suppose you would mind if I asked him.” Without warning he had set his cutlery down, and before he knew it the admiral was calling out for his name. 

“Boboiboy!” His voice rang out into the room. Fang shut his eyes, desperately wanting to  _ not _ be part of all this. The world faded to black. 

“Yes, Laksmana!” Boboiboy sounded surprised, but full of respect for the man regardless. 

“Do you have a problem with your subordinate Fang over here?” The admiral’s enormous hand ruffled the top of his head gently. He knew his back was facing Boboiboy’s side of the room, and he decided he would refuse to look at him. 

“None at all, Laksmana. Gopal just wanted some help on the paperwork he was supposed to-ouch!”  _ Paperwork?  _ He heard the cadet groan in pain, and a not-so-soft whispering from Gopal about not talking about his neglected responsibilities. 

“I see,” Tarung replied. He seemed like he wanted to address the paperwork, but held himself back. “I’ll let you get back to it, then. See you later at the meeting, yes?” 

“Affirmative, Laksmana.” was all he had left to say, and Fang finally allowed his eyes to open. 

“I guess I was wrong,” Laksmana smiled, and resumed eating. He was only able to let out a nervous laugh, and quickly stuffed his mouth with a cup full of water. 

_ And the night gets worse,  _ he couldn’t help but think. He could only hope the meeting would be the least stressful thing he would have to put up with. 

  
  
  
  



	11. you look better without glasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all are gonna get both chapters because i have put you through enough pain! also bbbm2 is out tomorrow on netflix and we should all stream it
> 
> here's your reminder to keep boosting black lives matter and donate directly to black people, families, protestors that are fighting for everyone right now. as always all my compiled resources are here: https://linktr.ee/sunsalutaticn
> 
> keep spreading awareness for your friends in ph about the #JusticeTerrorBill and show up for your friends in #StandforHk! both countries are at risk of losing their freedom and we must not allow these bad things to happen. this is not democracy. none of this is democracy.

The meeting went as planned, with the commander filling them in with updates. Their brief ‘keeping sharp’ period would end soon, and they would start actively being in the field again as a team. The procedures were just about the same - retrieve the power spheres that were in hiding or held hostage by illegal activity. 

As soon as Koko Ci muttered (or rather, gruffly shouted) their dismissal, Fang felt his bare hand caught in someone else’s. 

He turned, and it was Boboiboy that was gripping his hand tightly. He felt his back grow hot, embarrassed. “Commander,” the cadet announced, unfazed. “Fang and I would like the room to ourselves, if that’s okay.” 

Koko Ci took off his sunglasses, and looked at them quizzically. “Is there a reason?” 

“We just need to discuss something is all. Just about self-training proceeding this week after. We won’t be long.” He was keeping this excuse as vague as possible, but also in the most assured way possible. It was convincing enough to elicit a yes. 

Sure enough, that was exactly what happened. Their superior didn’t seem to suspect much, though the facial responses and snorting from the girls read otherwise. 

As soon as everyone left, and the door bolted shut: Fang snatched his hand away. The cadet looked at him, confused. “What the hell?” That wasn’t what he was intending to say, but his reflexes for defence always seemed to kick in before anything else.  _ Even in a situation like this. Congratulations, Fang, you’re a grade A asshole.  _

Boboiboy scoffed. “Would you at least let  _ me  _ speak now?” 

“Okay, then - talk.” 

His expression suddenly shifted to a bashful one, and his extreme case of blushing was beginning to form again. Fang didn’t understand how the boy was capable of turning red all the way to the tips of his ears, like the sheepishness could consume him and turn him into a tomato.  _ And god, it was so  _ **_so_ ** _ cute.  _

“I… I didn’t know you felt that way about me. You know, like that.” He started, stumbling a little over what he wanted to say. The initial bravado with the commander had disappeared completely. Was it safe to assume he was just as awkward about this as he was? 

“Well. It just sort of happened, I guess.” Fang breathed, letting himself understand that he would not know what would happen from this moment after. 

“And you, uh. You don’t have to give me an answer now, or anything.” More babbling, but he was determined to get this out. He deserved it, especially after all the running away and unnecessary misunderstanding. “Hell, I don’t even care if you don’t feel the same way or something. I just… needed to let you know.” 

Mentally Fang was checking off ‘ _ actor’ _ from his list of potential future careers: ad-libbing was proving to be a lot more difficult than he had anticipated it to be. 

And the truth was, he did care. But this wasn’t just about him, and he was trying to understand that. 

Boboiboy smiled softly, and tentatively took his hand once more. It was a modest grip, and Fang felt his heart fully race out of his body upon impact. 

“Do you know why I think you look better without your glasses?” He whispered, and all of a sudden he felt his glasses sliding off his face and grazing off his temple. He blinked, and once more the blue hues that often clouded his vision was gone. 

All he could see now was just the boy he loved, the most clearly he had ever seen him. 

“Because it makes it easier for me to do this,” and soon enough his voice eventually muted by his lips pressing softly against his. 

Now, Fang had thought about the dream where Boboiboy had done this exact same thing. He had thought about it in the days that followed after he had confronted his own feelings, wondering what the real thing could have felt like. If he would ever lose his first kiss in due time, and if it wasn’t going to be with him hopefully it would be with someone just as special. 

But this wasn’t a dream. This was real life, and this was his first real kiss. With his best friend, probably the most precious person to him in the world right now. 

And he was kissing  _ him.  _

They broke away, and he immediately found himself smiling - probably one of the more bigger smiles he would ever offer. 

Fang let his hands tentatively touch Boboiboy’s face. His cheeks were smooth, his smile was gentle and his brown eyes sparkled golden under the bright lights that illuminated their presences. He almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all, at how lucky he was to be alive right now. 

“You are  _ so _ pretty,” Boboiboy suddenly said, with his usual grin plastered on his face like he was pleased with himself. And he found himself wanting to kiss him again, which was exactly what he did. 

He wasn’t melting the way the dream had made him out to feel. In a way he was, but everything about what was happening just felt so  _ right.  _

When he placed his lips onto his again, the way their fingers interlocked. 

He wasn’t melting - rather he felt like he was being built up into something whole. 

Fang almost wanted to cry again, for the euphoria was beginning to consume him and he wanted to find a way to celebrate it. 

“This is awesome, isn’t it?” Boboiboy said, with their foreheads still pressed up against each other - and Fang blinked. 

He laughed, and all of a sudden crying felt like the last thing he wanted. 

“You,” he breathed, “are so stupid.” 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fucking finally am i RIGHT


	12. the thing about being with you

_He was dreaming again._

_He knew that he was, because he knew himself best and that while dreams were suddenly occurring they hadn’t been an active member of his sleep cycle. Because the stage was set bright and he knew that wasn’t like him. Nothing about his life was remotely qualified to be gleaming. It was bright everywhere, like he had died and was reincarnated in what humans often referred to as heaven. He was trapped in a paradox of being somewhere and nowhere. A bridge in-between._

_Then he saw him._

_His love, who was facing him by the back. The cap obviously gave him away, and he didn’t doubt for a second that it was him. The cadet turned around and spotted him, greeting him with a sheepish hello and red on his cheeks._

_Boboiboy ran toward him first. He knew that because all of a sudden the boy was hugging him by the waist like he was smaller than he actually was._ What a dork. 

_He hoisted the boy up, holding his hands and facing him on an equal eye level. Though not entirely, because he was slightly taller. He took pride in that._

_They met eyes, and he found himself kissing him all over. The softness of his cheeks, how they stayed so clean and pure despite everything. The way his cap got in the way of his hair, that smelled like an odd sense of home he wanted to learn to love._

_“You are my sunshine,” he whispered, as he placed his lips on his forehead. He kissed the lone white streak that got in the way. “My only sunshine.”_

_Boboiboy smiled, and all of a sudden he found he wasn’t holding anyone._

_The stage had been reset._

_He was suddenly in a place that was dark. A planet of some sort. An array of bad adjectives began to register in his brain - barren, dusty. Uninhabitable. But it wasn’t a desolate planet. There was debris everywhere, like a war had just broken out._

What in actual hell. _He moved into the area, immediately looking out for survivors or casualties._

_And then he heard it. A distinct one, calling his name._

_He ran, as fast as he could. A hand stuck out among the piles of debris, and he hauled the survivor out._

No. No no no no no **no.**

_The boy’s face and body had been drastically altered to multiple shades of red, wounds oozing from his face to his body. The cap had been displaced, and only his mopful of hair with his stupid streak remained. He settled his flesh and bones onto his lap, immediately breaking down at the sight._

_“Don’t cry,” Boboiboy whispered, barely managing a breath. “I’m okay.. Awesome, as a matter of fact. Heh.”_

_“No,” he growled, unable to contain the insourtable amount of anger and sadness that was consuming. “Don’t go. Don’t you fucking give up now, you idiot.”_

_His love only managed his smile, the one that lit up a room whenever he paraded it._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_But now that light was gone._

_They had his sunshine taken away._

  
  
  
  
  
  


*******

  
  
  


**Fang**

_hi_

_are you awake?_

_or are you asleep already?_

_sorry_

_but i hope ur ok_

_just tell me something._

_anything_

**Boboiboy**

_Barely._

**Fang**

_good. open the door_

**Boboiboy**

_???????_

**Fang**

_i said open the door_

  
  


*******

  
  


“You’re okay.” 

Were his first words to the cadet no sooner the door had shut behind him, and Fang enveloped him in the tightest hug Boboiboy would experience thus far. And he had given and received lots of them over the course of his life. 

For a moment Boboiboy stood, confused at what was happening. There he was, finally able to give in to his heavy eyes - and no sooner his eyes had closed he had received the cryptic texts, the little beeps from his watch snapping him out of the sleepy haze. 

“Safe,” the lance corporal breathed into him, and he felt his hot breath brush against his shoulder. 

“Yeah… I am?” Boboiboy replied, confused. Still dazed, he realised he had forgotten to reciprocate the hug and allowed himself to wrap his arms against the taller boy. _Mmm._ Despite the confusion he was experiencing he let himself sink into him, the differences of their physiques bringing a surge of comfort and security. Moments like these reminded him how much Fang had changed through the years they spent apart, his build much more defined than the humanoid he had met as an eleven year old. 

(And he took note that Fang really had amazing arms. Why he hadn’t realised this before he would never know.) 

“Okay, time out,” Boboiboy chuckled, slowly untangling himself from Fang’s strong grasp. The embrace got a little tighter the longer they stayed that way and he was a little worried his.. _Possible_ boyfriend would accidentally crush him in the process. _If he could even call him that._

“What is up with you?” He finally asked, as soon as their eyes met again. The humanoid’s crimson orbs were glassy, like he had been crying. 

“I wanted to see if you were okay.” Fang whispered, almost rueful. 

“I am!” Boboiboy exclaimed. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I just…” He began mumbling the rest of his sentence, like he was embarrassed to explain why. 

_“Fang.”_ The cadet tried to be stern, and put on the most serious face he could muster. This elicited a snicker from the corporal, and he sighed. “I appreciate the worrying but… are you going to do this every night? Because I’d need a heads up if you are.” 

“No, no. I’m so sorry. I’m being delusional.” Fang had averted his gaze from him and was staring at the floor, evidently hiding something. 

Boboiboy settled himself onto the floor, his back against his dorm door. He patted the space next to him, only to find a mop of purple finding a new home on his lap. For a moment they just stayed that way, the cadet allowing himself to stroke his soft hair. 

Soon, their hands found each other, and Fang ensured each gap between their fingers fit perfectly. 

“You wanna tell me what’s up now?” Boboiboy whispered, his other hand on his hair. It was honestly criminal how well maintained his hair was - he was beginning to understand what made the boy so popular in the first place. 

“I dreamt something bad.” Fang said it so quietly Boboiboy would have easily missed it if he wasn’t paying attention. 

“Was it about me?” 

The corporal suddenly turned his head to face him, and he smiled. “It’s okay. You can tell me.” 

His expression remained distressed, but softened a little at the permission to speak about it. 

“I dreamt… about us.” 

Boboiboy frowned. “You came all the way here just to tell me _that?_ Wait till everyone hears how much of a hopeless dork _thee_ Fang is.” He laughed, but the silence from Fang prompted him to stop almost immediately. 

“But then… they hurt you. They took you away and I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t protect you and I was horrible.” He was trying not to cry, but even on the outside the cadet could hear that his throat was getting clogged up.

In turn he placed a thumb on the side of his head, massaging it slowly, to ensure his head didn’t start to hurt so much from the emotional distress. His own experience with nightmares had caused him headaches and he wondered if Fang was experiencing that too. 

“Who were… ‘they’?” He asked mildly, though the curiosity escaped with his voice as well. Boboiboy was used to lots of dangerous figures out to get him, but hadn’t realised that they had crawled into Fang’s subconscious as well. 

_Was that such a terrible thing? The last thing he wanted was to put either of them in jeopardy, given the nature of his abilities and reputation..._

“That’s the thing. I don’t know,” Fang admitted, and allowed himself to chuckle despite it all. “All I know is that I lost you. And… I got worried, so I-” 

“You thought I wouldn’t be here when you woke up?” Boboiboy offered, and the corporal seemed surprised in spite of it being the obvious answer. 

“Fang,” He said, and the corporal sat up to face him properly. He smiled, and a hint of it seemed to infect him on the other end. “I’m here. I’ll always be here. You know that.” 

“Just…” Fang’s face fell again, downcast. “I lost everything at some point. Everyone.... gone.” 

Boboiboy brought a finger to his chin, alleviating his line of vision. The corporal suddenly leaned in, giving him a kiss on the lips. It felt like he was treading on deep water, the anxiety still living in them as they met gently. 

_He’s been through a lot,_ he considered. There was still a lot about Fang that he had yet to know about, but from the way he was acting the anxiety seemed to stem from things he never got the chance to heal from. 

It was one of the things that set them both apart miles. On the surface, it seemed like they were just fire and ice, two boys with contrasting personalities. But even Boboiboy had his share of scars that ran deep, things that made him feel messed up inside. Fang couldn’t hide that aspect of his too well from him, like all the pain was able to pour out in little ways no one else saw. 

“I just don’t want to lose you,” he whispered as their lips broke away, feeling every word on his chin. 

The cadet didn’t release his forehead from his, and gripped his fingers tightly. It was annoying how even now, he still remembered to put on his gloves before he left his dorm. “Do you remember what you said to me when we were at the library? When I couldn’t sleep?” 

“Not really.” 

“It was just a dream,” Boboiboy quoted, letting his fingers make unintelligible shapes on the gloves of Fang’s palms. The tactic seemed to be working a little, the tension in the taller boy’s body deflating slowly. “And that’s all it will ever be.” 

“But…” 

“I’m here, right now. Your brain isn’t making this one up, I can promise you.” He allowed himself to look directly into Fang’s eyes, and he finally perked up. 

“I guess I’ll take what I can get,” the corporal smirked, and Boboiboy found himself trapped in another kiss. _Not that I’m complaining._

For a while they simply enjoyed each other’s presence, allowing themselves to forget about the world around them. Boboiboy’s head on Fang’s shoulder, their hands still wrapped around each other. It became merely a universe for the two of them, relishing in the way they both made each other feel. It was another level of happiness for Boboiboy, something about being in love with someone you’d least expect to be with just so.. 

So.. nice. There weren't many words for him to describe how happy he was just to _be_ with him. They’d spent a lot of time together, but not enough like this. 

Boboiboy suddenly realized he didn’t know what the future would hold for the two of them, given that everything was still so new. And then there was TAPOPS, and all their responsibilities… 

“What’s up?” Fang must have felt his body stiffen, and he sighed. 

“Nothing, just…” He sat up, wanting to be firm with what he was about to say. “I really, really like you, Fang. And I want to be with you, if that’s what you want as well.” 

Fang blinked, and chortled. “You’re really dumb.” 

“Excuse me?” Boboiboy scoffed, and put on his best pouting face. All that confidence for nothing. 

“If it wasn’t so obvious from the honest to god beginning - I really want to be with you too.” 

“Like.. ‘My boyfriend’ with me?” 

“Yes, like your boyfriend. God, you’re a dunce.” Fang leaned in again, this time only for a peck on the cheek. “It has a nice ring to it, boyfriend.”

“Just.. I was thinking about everything else, too.” Boboiboy breathed. If they were really going to go through with this, he didn’t want to keep anything from him. 

“What do you mean?” 

The cadet exhaled. “ _Everything,”_ he stretched out his arms as if to gesture the entire space. “This station. Our… jobs, me even. I wanna be with you.. But I don’t want this to be so hard. Not on you. You don’t deserve that.” 

The corporal reached out, and his fingers were on his cheek again. Only this time he gave them a good pinch, taking him by surprise. 

“Hey!” The nerves behind his skin winced at the impact, causing his face to turn pink out of the slight pain. “What the heck was that for?” 

“For being an idiot,” Fang said nonchalantly. “Though this time I’d use the word dumbass.”

Boboiboy scoffed. “Point taken. You’ve called me stupid in like... three different ways so far already.” 

“Look, Boboiboy,” Fang started, and they were holding hands again. He seemed to enjoy being touched, often initiating it first. “This… life we’re in. It’s hard by default. It’s always been hard. I don’t know what _we_ might bring into this whole mess… But I’m okay with it. At least I want to be.” 

There was that nice feeling stirring in Boboiboy’s chest as Fang made his proclamation. Everything about him was unapologetically bona fide in their moments together and he wanted to hear more of it. See more of it. 

He wanted all of it. 

“If it’s hard on me, then it’d be hard on you too. But we can carry this.. together.” His voice suddenly dropped, like he was embarrassed of his honesty. 

“So I guess what you’re trying to say is - you’re okay with anything that happens. As long as we’re together.” Boboiboy smiled. The hues of light that the moon offered through the windows of the station halls allowed him a view of his boyfriend blushing slightly. 

“That’s the gist of it.” Fang allowed himself a soft smile, and his heart dropped into his chest. 

Boboiboy placed his forehead onto his - letting himself melt away with the touch of his warm, fair skin. _I think I struck it too lucky with this boy._

“Well,” the corporal announced abruptly, “I think I should go back now. Sorry for bothering you. You finally got a chance at proper sleep and my restlessness woke you up.” He hoisted himself up, but the cadet realised he didn’t want him to go. 

Not now. 

Not ever. 

“Stay.” Boboiboy whispered, gripping his fingers so he wouldn’t be able to get up properly. 

Fang didn’t look like he really wanted to go either. His face softened, and he knew he was relenting. “Don’t be stupid,” he muttered. “We’re not gonna stay out here all night. Everyone’s going to think something is very wrong with us… just in general.” 

He motioned to the door, and allowed himself to stand up. Wordlessly he keyed in the security code, and it unbolted itself at his request. 

“They won’t be able to get me if you’re here to protect me.” _Was that too harsh? Shit._

But the corporal only smirked. “I guess you have a point.” 

“Isn’t that awesome.” 

  
  
  


<><><><>

  
  
  
  


Fang was taller, so it was inevitable that he would be the big spoon. Not that he paid any mind. He liked the feeling, like he was able to keep Boboiboy safe without having to do so much. Simply having him in his arms knowing he wouldn’t go anywhere. He nestled into his neck, planting light kisses onto the snug skin of the sleeping boy. 

The cadet was out like a light mere moments after they had crawled into his bunk. He hadn’t realised how tired he was following their conversation. It was probably the fact that he had listened attentively despite being woken up without a notice, and didn’t for once seem like he was losing interest at all. 

He truly didn’t deserve him. It felt too good to be true, all the time spent in pining agony actually heading somewhere. 

Fang wondered if the universe was making an odd choice. Between gifting and testing him. Either way, they were making sure he would fight for the chance to be with him. 

But… he didn’t want to think about that now. 

As he felt the rhythms of his boyfriend’s relaxed breathing on his own body, the happiness of finally being able to be with someone that saw him for what he was. That settled into his heart instead, and he wanted to stay with it. 

Fang held Boboiboy tight, intertwining his fingers on his open palm. 

“I love you,” he whispered into his ear, half hoping he would hear him and half hoping he wouldn’t. “So much.” 

It seemed like he was jumping the gun on it - but he had loved him for years even if he wasn’t aware of it. And he wanted to believe that he could speak it into existence. Especially now that they were so close and he would never know how precious these moments were going to be. 

He knew neither of them would be going anywhere. 

And he wouldn’t lose him now. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dream sequence is a direct allude to my good friend [ syaz's ](https://www.instagram.com/syazdoodles/) comic that they conceived a while ago! you can see it for yourself [ here!!!](https://www.instagram.com/p/B7WoGEclwfh/)  
> if you would be so kind to go over and support their art that would make me very happy. 
> 
> lastly THANK YOU for reading thus far! writing this was really fun (tho slightly painful at times HHAHA) and your nice comments have really gotten me to commit to finishing this. i'm very happy we all share the same braincell shipping these two. <3


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